Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
