I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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