I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
