sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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