Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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