You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
