You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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