He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How naked do you want me to be?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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