i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
