I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
