just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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