How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
