That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
either way he was missing a nipple.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
