I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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