Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
