If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Two words: blizzard sex
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize