it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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