I wanna bring you to show and tell
okay pat passed out under dana's car
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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