i wish my penis had a tongue
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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