I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
