just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
