Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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