OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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