FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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