next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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