guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize