Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
