If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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