dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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