Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
