i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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