I can tuck mytits in my pants
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Found your dick twin last night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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