there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
