At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm too high and old for this...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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