thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
