dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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