no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
