How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
