After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
