Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
