His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
