You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
