Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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