i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
