I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
