2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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