A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
