At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
