U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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