hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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