I must be too annoying 4 u.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
