if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
