You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
