What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
