Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
