this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
