just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
