chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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