God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
