Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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